Baby  Jenkins's Memorial

Baby Jenkins
(Unknown - 2008)

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General Details

Name: Baby Jenkins
Lived: Unknown - Friday, 4 January 2008

My Story

It may seem strange to some that I am creating a memorial to a baby never born to me, but here is my story.

I got married in June 2007.  My husband and I started trying for a baby immediately, and were delighted when we found out in November that I was pregnant.  We were so excited, and couldn't wait to let our family in on our little secret.  We broke the news on Christmas Day 2007, and the planning began - I was suprised at how much it was effecting everyone around us.

Despite having difficulty getting in touch with a midwife, we eventually got a date for a scan - Thursday 31st January, when I should have been around 12 weeks pregnant.

The wait for the scan was unbearable - desperate to go to the loo, but so excited to see my baby for the first time.  I knew immediately that something was wrong - the sonographer kept asking me to stay very still, and hold my breath.  I could see the panic in my husband's face, but still didn't know exactly what was going on.  The words ' I'm sorry, but I can't find a heartbeat' echo in my dreams, or nightmares every night since.  The rest of the day a blur - we were given tea and sympathy and handed a load of leaflets about miscarriage and how it should be 'managed'.

Every possible emotion ran through me on that day - I was hurt, upset, angry, confused, guilty, in denial, suicidal.....I would have done anything to make it not true.  We told our parents and had to explain to them that there really was no explanation to why it had happened - it just wasn't meant to be.  No matter how many times I told myself and other people this, I could not quite accept it myself - and still don't.

I opted for medical management which involved a series of tablets which caused my body to expel the 'products of conception' as the medical profession like ot call it.  At this point I was numb, and tried to block out what was happening to me last Monday,4th February 2008.

And now, as the bleeding is slowing and I am starting to come to accept that this pregnancy was not going to happen, I feel the need to remember my baby that was not born.  My husband and I conceived the baby with love and the genuine desire to bring it into the world and care for it until the day we die, and I feel that this cannot go un-remembered.  There will be no funeral or memorial service for my baby, and this is my tribute to my baby, loved and never forgotten. 

As the physical and emotional scars start to heal, and we think about trying again to start our family, I hope that somewhere, someone is looking over me, and is looking after my baby.  Goodbye my baby x

Latest Tributes

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Candle Memorial Tribute
From: lovemylivvy
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www.OurForeverBabies.com I light this candle And fill it with love And send it to you In heaven above
Candle Memorial Tribute
From: mymuimui
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So sorry for your loss. Understand the pain and shock. We went through the same just two weeks ago. Be Strong and May...
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From: miss
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From: NIAMH
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Heart Memorial Tribute
From: Tonilynn
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Hun.... Im so sorry that you went through that.. No one should have to... God Bless you Always,....
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From: Kindra
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i am so sorry no mother should have to go through that.may god bless you and your family.with love kindra
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From: BeenDeleted
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I no its hard for you right now im 14 its been almost a year since i lost my little girl who was born too premature ...
Heart Memorial Tribute
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The end of March approaches, and I send my love once more x
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From: melissa
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From: lily
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Biography

Fathers Name: Matthew
Mothers Name: Shelley

Interests

Passing

Place of Passing: Unknown
Date of Passing: 4 January 2008
Cause of Passing: Unknown
Type of Funeral: None
Place of Burial: None
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1,600 Visits    |    Online Memorial Created By: shelleyandmatthew on 12 February 2008    |     Back to Top





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