12/6/09
It has been 9 months that my dad has been gone and 1 year and 4 months for my sister...her case was just closed recently...I see our puzzle crumbling....it is no longer together, it is no longer beautiful
It will soon be 1 year for our Dad...nothing is the same...
April 18, 2009
Eight months and ten days it has been since IT all began..."IT" being a horrible, gut-wrenching,heart -throbbing, mind-blowing, experience? Is that the word I want? No, there has to be words I don't know...whirlwind...nightmare beyond all nightmares, yet a numbness that goes with it...does that make sense? Does anything any more? Finding yourself questioning what is reality at times....what isn't...am I o.k? WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED!!!??? WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT!? People, LOVED ones dropping like flys around you in the strangest ways...................at the strangest times.............what is it like to have a loved one go quietly in their sleep when you know it is coming without going through hell first and when you are not already grieving for another loved one?
Now Dad.................................................................................................The MAIN "Puzzle Maker".........................
with Bon, "4th" piece.............................................................................
and Pastor Kerry who gave them both such beautiful Memorial Services and has done so much for this family.....All of this in eight months and ten days...........................
8/31/09
Well it is a little over a year but without going into too much detail I am feeling a little hope that we may get SOME answers and have SOME closure soon...and maybe then SOME healing can begin...Will I ever stop missing my sister or wishing I could have been there that night, that morning to wake her to hold her, will my heart ever stop aching, will I ever stop missing hearing her voice, feeling her soft hand on my face???????NOOOOOOOOOO..NEVERRRRRRRR but maybe just maybe I can feel like all was done that should have been done, or could have been done at least by me, I had to 4 u my Sis..........u would have for me or anyone of us.....things too many things just wern't right and if I was rich I would have got the best lawyer in the world to see this through every last detail but that I am not.....so I can only do what I can do .....and I pray when it is all said and done I will have a peace that I can say there...justice has been done...at least this makes sense...SOMETHING makes sense...something was done in my sisters honor,,,,,She was a SOMEBODY!!!!!!!!! To think your file was sitting there all this time doing nothing.......i cannot put into words.....its just how you were treated most of your life......I am so sorry my sister I didn't pursue it further sooner,,,,,,,Please forgive me.....I know you do because that is u, who u are....I pray I can get some answers about this whoe thing what they wrote on your DC also.....I truly pray for peace on this because we know u would never do such a thing for your Gbabies alone.....So my Sis....I will pray........U & Dad give each other hugs & kisses for all of us ok We all love u & mIss u both beyond words.....the words were never invented
