This is a real letter I wrote to my handsome and amazing fiance
while he was in surgery in Afghan after being badly injured. He made it
home. And he died earlier today. I decided to share this so that the
world would see how much I loved Patrick, and how I wish he was still
here. So there are parts of this that aren't really M/G relevant, but I
don't want to go edit it all again.
So this is from me to Patrick. Happy anniversary handsome. I already miss you. 28/12/87 - 17/06/12
You
know, the day we met I couldn't imagine being with you, but within a
few days, I couldn't imagine being without you, and right now I don't
know if I'm going to spend my life with you or not. I know they always
say that when you find love you know it's right, and you've made me
realise that's true.
You've told me so many times when you fell
for me. The first time I called you handsome. That was about a week
after we met. I've called you so many other nicknames over the time
we've had together, but somehow, that one stuck, and it's true.
From
when we first met we had an instant bond, and we talked every day,
about everything. Big and small. Feelings about everything, anything.
You told me all about Z, and your friends and family. I felt like I knew
them a long time before I spoke to any of them.
I knew I loved you about a month after we met. That was all it took.
We waited too long to admit it.
You
know every conversation we had, even when we fought, was worth so much,
and will always stand out in my memory. Every silly story and "I love
you" you told me. They all proved to me that you were my amazing man.
I don't know how to cope without you, and facing this, losing you, it's too hard for me to even think about.
I just want to hear you say "Hey Beautiful" again.
One
day, not so long ago, you promised me that you wouldn't break my heart,
but sometimes things happen that we can't explain or even accept, and
that makes it even harder to understand everything that's happening to
us.
When you proposed, you told me that there would only be one
thing you'd regret, and that would be not asking me to marry you. How
could a girl say no to that. To someone who she adores saying that he
wanted her to be his forever.
We planned everything. Where we'd
live, how many children we'd have, our wedding parties. Our song.
Everything was planned down to the last letter. We had a life planned.
We
only admitted our feelings because you were hurt before. This time I
don't have to pretend I'm only concerned as your friend. This time I can
be the concerned fiancée. The woman who wants to spend her entire life
with you, who wants to have children and live and grow old together.
Nothing is going to be the same if you're gone.
I love you, so much it hurts to breathe without you.
So please come back to me.
Love you, until the end of time
